Things I Didn’t Know Were Part Of ADHD

I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 14/15, I wasn’t really told anything about what this meant other than asked if I wanted medication. I took medication and was asked if they helped but I didn’t really know what they was meant to help other than ‘hyperactivity’. I was then re-diagnosed with adult ADHD at 18/19 which I declined medication at this time due to the severity of my mental health state I didn’t want to add any more tablets to the equation. However, if I knew what I know now back then I probably would’ve opted for medication or at least tried it out. 

I feel ADHD people are labelled as naughty and attention seeking and just overall awful people to be around which I feel is extremely misleading to people diagnosed with ADHD. As an adult I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD which then didn’t mean a thing to me especially as it was never really explained to me what it meant I might struggle with. It wasn’t until I then struggled severely with mental illness and being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder did I then decide to do some research into both ADHD and BPD and if they was commonly diagnosed together. I also spoke to professionals who agreed they are quite commonly diagnosed together. It made me question whether I actually had ADHD and just struggled with BPD and for a year or so I really did believe I was misdiagnosed with ADHD. I now know I definitely wasn’t misdiagnosed at all and do in fact have ADHD.

It wasn’t until last year when I started researching ADHD symptoms again and spoke to a specialist ADHD psychiatrist where he explained to me that a symptom of ADHD is emotional dysregulation which really struck me as I did not realise this was apart of ADHD at all, apparently it is one of the most common symptoms in ADHD. Emotions are extremely difficult for me personally and apparently are for many people with ADHD. From day dot that I can remember I struggled with emotions and experienced ‘shutdowns’ or ‘meltdowns’ which is also something I did not realise was apart of ADHD I thought it was only a thing on the autistic spectrum. I thought ADHD was just hyperactive, couldn’t sit still, can’t concentrate, impulsive and can’t follow instructions, it can be these things but there is a lot more. 

Shutdowns are something I’ve experienced a lot as a child and still now I experience it not as much but I do still have shutdowns. Shutdowns happen for me when I am overwhelmed with emotion and cannot process the emotions going on, I then shutdown and find it almost impossible to speak and sometimes move meaning I find it hard to communicate at these times and feel almost as if my brain has just shut off. 

Sensory issues are another subject I thought was only on the autistic spectrum. Turns out they are also on the ADHD spectrum and to me it makes so much sense. My sensory issues are mostly loud noises and some touch. Loud noises make me feel so on edge or they can make me extremely anxious and scared. Touch for me isn’t too bad but some fabrics are just not great and make me feel tense. Food textures are also a sensory issue although a lot better I still find I can’t hack mushrooms until they’re cut really small and tomatoes too. 

Hyper-fixation is something else I didn’t know what part of ADHD in fact I didn’t even know what it meant until earlier this year. In short it’s when I become extremely obsessed with a hobby/interest that it’s all I can think about and want to talk about for a few weeks. Annoyingly this leads me to burn out and then I struggle to do anything as I’ve taken up so much energy with hyper-fixating.  

Lack of motivation and forgetfulness although forgetfulness is probably an obvious one lack of motivation is not. As people probably assume people with ADHD are always on the go and never sit still this isn’t always the case in inattentive type ADHD in fact normally inattentive type can be under active. Lack of motivation is a huge thing for me I either have loads and loads of motivation or I have absolutely none and have to force myself to get out of bed. 

Of course the more obvious symptoms of lack of concentration and being easily distracted are a thing for me however I would say my main issues are ones that were never explained to me as part of ADHD and made me think there was something not right with me. I’m waiting to trial some medication but have been on a huge waiting list. 

Hannah x